Suicide Watch Available

Over the last 24 hours I have volunteered my services to many of my liberal friends. Knowing that they were going through a depressing time I offered to set up a phone suicide watch.

The concept was that I would setup phone shifts of some of my friends that would call them up every 1/2 hour or so to make sure that they were ok. If we didn't receive an answer we would immediately dispatch a courier with a video of the Best of CBS news and a copy of the New York times to bring them back around.

For an extra fee and faster response we would setup a webcam in their home.

If needed straight jackets will be available for rent.

Alas I didn't have any takers, but at least they know I care and for a liberal the emotion of a topic is all that counts.

Update:
The Evangelical Outpost has Sore Losers: The Far Left Reacts to the Election
WizBang has someone that may need my services.
Powerline was looking to counter Michael Moore's 17 reasons to keep living.