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Saturday

The Rookies

When it comes to pulling congressional stunts,
We can see who are champs and who are the runts.
Team captains like Reid and those other fool wusses
Are like Nagin in N’awlins: they miss their own busses.

By the time they discover that they’re in a rout,
The game is all over, the team bus has pulled out.
So their players are outraged, Pelosi is pissed,
The only Marine that they like has been thoroughly dissed.

And while Republican players are smirking and gloating,
Second-string Kerry decries Murtha’s Swift-boating,
A stunt that got John boy kicked out of the game,
By proving his play stats were doctored and lame.

It hurts to admit it, but here’s the straight skinny:
One honest Dem player is Cynthia McKinney,
Who true to her heart, which is Red to the core,
Voted boldly but badly to cut and run from this war.

While her timorous teammates who trash-talked so loud,
When faced with the game play, got lost in the crowd.
The Dems’ rookie captains are showing fatigue;
Will their fans ever see they’re playing out of their league?

By Russ Vaughn

1 comments:

phil said...

News Item: Cheney Ratchets Up Verbal Assault on Majority of Americans

The Bush Administration this week continued to ratchet up its rhetoric against the 63% of Americans who disagree with Administration conduct of the war in Iraq and the 57% of Americans who believe that the Administration misused intelligence to justify their preconceived plans for the invasion of Iraq

Bush has called those who accused him of manipulating pre-war intelligence “deeply irresponsible.” Last week Vice President Cheney emerged from his bunker to label those who disagreed with his views as “dishonest and reprehensible” and further accused them of “cynical and pernicious falsehoods.” Yesterday Cheney, in a speech at the American Enterprise Institute, took the rhetoric up a notch, describing Americans who disagree with his opinions as “shameless and corrupt.”

Latest polls show Bush’s approval rating among Americans at 34% and further indicate that only 40% of Americans consider Bush to be “honest and ethical.” Cheney’s approval rating hovers at an abysmal 19%; only 29% of Americans consider Cheney to be “honest and ethical.” More importantly, polls this week show that 57% of Americans believe that Bush and Cheney deliberately misused pre-war intelligence to justify the Iraq invasion, 63% think that Bush is mismanaging the war effort, and that these percentages are continuing to increase. A further disquieting fact for the Administration is that most Americans, including even Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, believe that the Bush strategy in Iraq is creating new terrorists faster than we can kill them.

Critics are split on whether the Bush/Cheney strategy of calling the nearly two thirds of Americans that disagree with them “irresponsible, reprehensible and dishonest, shameless and corrupt” will help their approval ratings.

White House operatives are carefully watching the polls to determine if their policy of lashing out against the clear majority of Americans who disagree with them on Iraq moves public opinion back in their favor. If it does, sources indicate that they may be open to bolder initiatives. They are said to be considering reacting to the 89% of Americans polled who consider Cheney the “human embodiment of evil” by having Cheney call them “witless troglodytes.” Karl Rove is rumored to have suggested an even stronger reaction to the 78% of Americans polled who consider Bush to be an “amiable dunce,” having Bush refer to them as “pustulent whores.” Sources say that there is indecision about whether to have Scott McClellan or Ken Mehlman deliver the White House message that the 63% of Americans who think Bush is mismanaging the war are “gonadally challenged.”

In an increasingly bad sign for the Republicans, 67% of Americans polled responded that they viewed Pat Robertson as the “sole voice of reason” in the Republican Party, though those polling numbers were taken prior to Robertson calling for his close friend God to assassinate the President of Venezuela, to destroy the town of Dover, PA, and prior to this past weekends gratuitous pimping of Jesus by Robertson on the 700 Club to raise money for his political action committee.

Asked to comment on these recent developments Bush, in Mongolia for a joint appearance with an Emu, encouraged Americans to wear the purple heart band-aids “in honor of the 2 purple hearts won by that coward John Murtha.” The band aids, decorated with a purple colored heart, were developed and worn by Republicans at their National Convention to mock John Kerry’s purple hearts, and are a common visual device used by Republicans to poke fun at the bravery of American soldiers with whom they disagree. Bush, sporting one of the band-aids on his forehead, encouraged all Americans to join him in mocking Murtha’s “so-called bravery.” Seeing Bush off at the airport, the President of Mongolia issued a brief statement regarding Bush’s visit which was later translated as “What a pompous asshole!”